To lose myself is to gain Christ.

"'Tis mad idolatry to make the service greater than the god."
William Shakespeare

I don't know anything about the thoughts in Shakespeare's mind which led him to make this statement, but I do know what thoughts are triggered in my own mind upon reading it. It's an interesting idea to think that even the most servitude-focused believers--all ages and phases of life included--can end up creating the nature of idolization within their ministries. Even those which began with the greatest of desires to be humble and serviant, and with the best motivation behind their actions, can fall into the impudence that is the mind-numbing Christian soul who has been lost to the cause of Satan's trickery through the use of the humanness of he or she. Somewhere in the shuffle we go from loving God and his people, and wanting to outwardly "do God's will", to misplacing God's will somewhere behind our own vision, and [sometimes] unintentionally we get trapped by our own ego or pride. Not that we walk around verbally bragging about the things we are doing, but that in our hearts we have begun to believe that it is in fact us who is doing any of it, rather than God in us. God is the one to instigate ministry, to plant the desire and passion in his child's heart, and to inflict the spiritual qualities necessary to accomplish every part of that plan. If we allow ourselves for one second to lose our understanding of any of those facts, even if we are doing something worthwhile, it is not with humility. And if we have no humility, we are forsaking our opportunity to be glorifying in our service.
What is the point of service if not to bring the Lord's name glory? He doesn't ask us to meet just the material and physical needs of this lost world, but also the spiritual needs. To proclaim HIS NAME in our thoughts and actions by doing HIS WORK. There is nothing about the call of living for Christ which is designed to comfort us, other than experiencing our God and knowing his love more each day. There is nothing about our serving others (as God designed it) that is supposed to somehow glorify ourselves. There is no room for feeling our ego in any of God's work, and as far as I'm concerned, there shouldn't be any room in my life for some other kind of work. I should at all times be ready and willing to selflessly be guided into whatever God has orchestrated, with faith--but not pride--in the skills God has given me, in order to bring His name glory. That's all there is to it.

God does not marvel at our work, he marvels at His work. In Genesis we see God's creativity, but we also glimpse his admiration for his own work. I counted six times in the first chapter when--as He completed each part of creation--"God saw that it was good", and once (after creating Adam) when "God saw that it was VERY good."  In Job 38 and 39 there is an amazing description of just how marvelous God's power and creativity is, and an obvious Almighty-ness in God's every word as he speaks about all of the things he created and controls. The fact of the matter is, we are nothing without Him. Our efforts are meaningless until we want Him to work through us, and then humbly present ourselves to him and our fellow believers as nothing more than a vessel of HIS power. Yes, we will share in Christ's glory, but only through his sacrifice, because of the Father's promise and provision, and by the power of the Holy Spirit. We have the chance to pretend otherwise, or to ignore these facts, because God has granted us permission to choose, but it is still God who holds the power to grant that permission, not us. He did not leave any room for another interpretation, He just lets us decide whether to pay attention to it or not.

To forfeit the opportunity of falling at the mercy of Jesus, to find the grace of God, and to feel the Power of the Spirit, is to flee from true life in the midst of a dying world. If we do not come to Him boldly, but with humility and obedience, we won't ever experience Him. To try living without God is to gladly be feeding your soul with the emptiness of the world, while constantly longing for the precious affirmation and fullness which can only be found in Christ's life. You can do good things in the world without loving God, but you cannot feel God's presence in your life by doing good things. Even those who are called Christians will never feel the life of Christ, or the love of Christ, if they spare any place in their heart for any other reasons behind their faith than to be falling in love with God and the purpose he has for their lives. By holding on to any thing else, you negate your attempts of godliness, and Satan will use whatever you are holding on to as a way of vacating your heart of all desire for God, and lead you into a desolate sense of loss. Nothing can ever remove you from God once you are his child, not even Satan, but Satan, knowing this, will do everything he can to at least have you be miserably dependent upon the things of the world rather than the heavenly and spiritual blessings God is offering us in our here and now. God will never forsake you, even if you forsake him, but Satan will send you into a spiraling mess of pride or greed, or many other things, rather than than watch you be happy, and content, and alive in Christ. He doesn't care how we lose sight, he only wants to be sure to blind us.

John Calvin once said, "Man's mind is like a store of idolatry and superstition; so much so that if a man believes his own mind it is certain that he will forsake God and forge some idol in his own brain."

It's a little steep to sled down, but I think he's definitely on to something. As I read through and take in different parts of the Bible, I see a critical warning, over and over. If we want to grow in the Spirit, mature in our faith, and be useful to God, we must be constantly work hard to keep the right attitude, and guard our hearts and minds. It's not just because of the evil things of the world that might crash into us and change us, but also, mainly, because of what's already within our hearts and minds. God's warnings are not only because there is evil elsewhere, but because he knows there is already evil lurking within us. It's waiting to be unleashed by the slightest instance or the tiniest sliver of something other than what the Holy Spirit is at work doing, i.e., Satan's lies, or our own human nature. No matter what you think, it's not a once-in-a-while kind of thing, and we as humans are not "mostly good." There is a battle between flesh and Spirit that never ceases until we get to heaven; a battle that was being fought for our benefit long before we were even a speck on this earth. If we aren't careful with our attitude about our fellow believers, or the way we go about "tackling" ministry needs, or the way we worship on Sunday morning, or Saturday night, or Tuesday afternoon, then we are laying ourselves in Satan's palms, and he is ready to turn our lives upside down.

I heard this quote a little while ago and it comes to mind now:
"Your soul is the most important thing to be feeding. If you aren't, Satan is." And with what do we "feed our soul"? Truth. God's word. Scripture. Study it. Memorize it. Sit in awe at the beauty of it. Marvel at the power of it. Be mesmerized by God. Let it envelop you, enthrall you, capture you, seduce you. Do not allow Satan to disinterest you and prevent you from feeling God, and experiencing Him feeding your soul with his raw love and intoxicating grace. Once you have fallen in love with the God of the universe, there is no turning back. You will yearn for it more and more, you will seek Him, you will run to His word and long to experience Him more and more. It will transform your world, wreak havoc on your old habits, and inhibit the devil from ever again capturing your attention with lies. His presence here in my own life is a miracle, and I can't imagine that I will ever again be able to take him for granted.

A friend on facebook recently wrote this on his status, I don't know if he was the original author or not, but I liked the thought:
"It's easy to get caught up in what we do to the point that we want it to define us, when it should be God's redefinition of who we are that defines what we do."


What have I given up in order to become more like my Savior? What discomfort am I willing to experience in order to experience God? What have I done, or what am I doing, that is worthy to show Christ? Does my life truly reflect Him, and reveal Him to the world?

I believe there is nothing of more importance. I believe there is no greater success than to seek Christ with all my heart, strength, and mind, all the days of my life. I know that there isn't anything else on earth or in heaven that will ever satiate my soul. But do my actions and thoughts prove that belief as something that has altered my existence?
I yearn for God to grow closer to me, yet every time His presence in my life is evident, I shirk away in embarrassment, or any number of other awful things, and hide behind my mask of doubt and disbelief that God could really do what he says he will. Or maybe it's fear that He actually will. Because that would mean some sort of change in my world, some sort of discomfort. How can I be so selfish that I feel misguided at times because I have to face something inconvenient? How can I be so ungrateful for the miracle of God's life in mine, to feel like I should still be allowed to retain some remnant of that old life?

My prayer is that my heart would begin to lose the dark tinge of that old self as it grows lighter and lighter with the things Christ shines into it. That my life would begin to show how great and awesome my God is, rather than how feeble and pathetic I am. And that if I find an outlet for my God-given abilities and passions here on earth, that I would not forget the very reason I exist. God, please teach me humility. And please grant me joy in the steps I take toward you; the journey is not always smooth, but the traveling is worth the destination. Let me get lost in You all the time on my way. =)