The Final Mystery...

 There are many things in life to figure out,
but as Oscar Wilde once said,

"The final mystery is oneself."

Have you ever asked yourself... "Who am I?"

Eh...Then again, maybe others don't feel the need to ask themselves this question like I do.

If you go to kisa.ca/personality you can take a test that will tell you what kind of personality you have. I took the test tonight, sort of as an experiment, and here are the results:

Introverted (I) 93%	Extroverted (E) 7%
Sensing (S) 50%	Intuitive (N) 50%
Feeling (F) 60%	Thinking (T) 40%
Perceiving (P) 59%	Judging (J) 41%

But what does that mean to me? According to this test I lean more on the sensing/feeling side of things--Which I think is true--So what good does an analytical test do for someone like me? The above percentages really don't mean a lot to me. In fact--I think partly because of my own natural tendency to be introverted, and ability to perceive things--this somewhat official psychological typology assessment didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know about myself.
On a fun side note, according to Wikipedia...Michael Jackson MAY HAVE had an ISFP personality type. AND, also according Wikipedia, ISFP's account for about 5–10% of the population. I feel like a minority with that sort of statistic. Haha.

The test was fun I suppose, but it can't answer the question of who I am.

Jon Foreman's popular lyric, "This is your life, are you who you want to be? " appropriately comes to mind, and I finally consider that question rather than just sing along; Am I who I want to be?

To answer this question, you kind of have to already know who you are, and then be able to answer if you, essentially, /like/ who you are.

My answer /right now/ is honestly "Yes", but it hasn't always been.

I have been restless, discontented, and depressed even. I have been insecure with myself in just about every way. I've been to MY rock bottom, and then some. The only chance I ever had at escaping any of it was to recognize that I couldn't do it on my own.

And this is the part of my blog that moves into my new outlook on life, this is the turning point in my entire world view. Desperation led to utter triumph, of which I had nothing to do. I can never claim anything more than that.

Some people easily accuse Christians of being weak because they are "letting God do all the work." My response is that God doesn't do all of the work, He just instills capability and empowerment within us through His love for us. By His mercy, we are rescued, By His grace, we are made new; But it's when we have been sanctified, redeemed, and justified that the toughest battle of our lives begins, We are not in the clear from all things difficult and evil. But at this point, with God on our side, nothing can touch us. Our future has been re-written by the Almighty.
                                         John White writes in his book The Fight,

"What makes Christian conversion different is that supernatural events also occur. The feeling states in non-Christian conversion are temporary. That are equally temporary in Christian conversion. But the supernatural, and often unfelt, events are permanent.
They mark you in the sight of demons and angels as a human who is different. They bring your body into touch with eternity and with the eternal God."
"Your justification is both a heavenly event and a time-space event. It is a heavenly event insofar as Jesus is at this moment on the right hand of God's throne acting as your personal representative. It is a heavenly event too in that your name is now recorded in the 'not guilty' annals of heaven. It is an earthly event since you, a creature of time and space, may boldly step into the presence of the God of eternity and hold a conversation with him. Not to crawl towards him, but to approach with your head held high."
"Eternity invaded space and reestablished permanent links between your personality and the Eternal."

In Philippians 4, verses 6-7, what Paul says to the Christ followers in Philippi at the time is still such a great description of what takes place when you let go of self in order to let God take over; "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

This is what validates and defines me. This is who I am now. Everything I have or am going to be resides only in the hope and life I have in Christ. A new awareness of God's grace and compassion is affecting me; Peace like I've never known, and still can't quite understand, is wrapping around my mind and heart. I am guarded, therefore I am ready for anything. After all, at 22 years, 2 days, 1 hour, and 15 minutes old, I have already answered "the final mystery." This is the oldest I've ever been, and I feel more alive than ever.
How's that for a paradox?