Life Lessons inspired by Dave Ramsey (Who knew?)

This morning I was catching up on reading from Dave Ramsey's book, Complete Guide to Money. Trust me, I'm also surprised that my blog post is beginning with anything about Dave Ramsey. But I've been taking the Financial Peace University (FPU) class at my brother's church, and I have actually learned a lot of valuable things. One dominant thing that has stood out to me since the first lesson is that someone could easily float through this experience and leave it behind them and just not gain anything from it. Or, someone could read every word, soak in every video lecture, and do all of the "homework," and they would probably see noticeable differences in more than one area of their life.

I'll be honest, so far I haven't been doing all of the work. I've been reading the books, I've been going to the class every week, but I haven't been doing the homework like I'm supposed to. Why? Because D.R.'s advice is meant to be carried out by someone with an income, and for two months (the course of this class), I have not had an income. (Refer to my earlier post if you're wondering why.) Sure, I've had money to work with, and I have had an ongoing budget this summer, but it has had a steady decrease in the balance since the day I received my final paycheck. It will continue to dwindle away while I patiently wait for my next paycheck to come. (Two more weeks!!!) And I knew it was going to be like that when I quit my job in May, so I was already being extra cautious with my funds as I began FPU, and I will continue to be cautious until I am able to save some more as I begin working again.

Money things aside, I want to write about some stuff I have gained from FPU regarding other areas of life.

1. I've seen that D.R. does not value money over other things in life, i.e., faith, family, friendships, integrity, hard work, working with passion, etc. THAT is exciting to me, because I can relate to these things that he values over wealth, as I do too. I would have dropped out after day one if D.R. tried to convince me to put money first in my life. It's just not that important to me. This class just confirmed that money is not the most important thing in life, and is not supposed to be esteemed as such.

2. I've realized how quickly and sneakily money can affect other areas of life, and the importance of protecting myself and my relationships with people from things like greed, stress, or impatience (this is a big one for me), or so many other negative things that money issues will infiltrate into our lives. This lesson has not just applied to those close to me, but it has changed my heart in big ways when it comes to showing Christ's love through financial gifts to others, even strangers. I've always said that God doesn't give me a lot of money because He knows I can't handle it, but this class has changed my perception. I believe that I would be more capable of it now, but I don't want my capability to enable greed. D.R. preaches GIVE, GIVE, GIVE all throughout his many lessons in FPU, and my prayer is that if God ever chooses to bless me with enough wealth to do so, that I would be ready and willing to GIVE it back to him through those who need it more than I do.

3. I've learned more about what the Bible teaches about money, wealth, poverty, saving/giving, and how to handle these circumstances. I love how much scripture and biblical truth is involved in the FPU lessons, not to mention all of the really great quotes shared from financially  knowledgeable people. Often, it seems that the secular, or more "worldly" sources of knowledge [with financial aspects, in this case], are corollary to the things the Bible is teaching. Which further proves to me that God had our best and healthiest lives in mind when he gifted us with his word, be it about financial health, spiritual health, emotional health, mental health, physical health, etc. His word is consistent with what the most brilliant minds in all of these areas can tell us, or give us glimpses of. It's something that stands out to me when I study anything, be it ethics/philosophy, psychology, history, fitness, or FPU lessons*; The things that the Bible teaches us always correlates with the best and most ideal examples of all of these things. The Bible is a greater source of knowledge than of our man-made sources, so if the man-made sources can be found corollary to scripture then it is definitely worth my time.

*I want to clarify that not all aspects of those "worldly" studies will be confirmed by scripture, and I most definitely apply discernment as necessary. I just think it's really cool when both sides match up, and I wish more people would realize the ideal life God intended for us all to have.

The final thing that I found inspiring through this class was something I just read this morning, which triggered this entire post:

4. I've decided that for me, my ultimate goal is not wealth, but contentment. A quote from Complete Guide to Money that stood out to me this morning as I was reflecting over all of these incredible life lessons, was, "How can you know where you ought to be and what you ought to be doing if you don't know who you are?" That struck a chord in me. I decided that above all the wealth or knowledge I could ever gain, I would rather be content in who I am, no matter my circumstances. To have an abundance of other things, and be miserable or confused about who I am, would be one of the absolute worst things I can imagine in this lifetime. This lesson is the one that I am most convicted about giving to God, because I know that I can't rely solely on myself to guarantee that I will discern every right step along my way. I feel confident in who I am today, but it has been a rocky road to get here. And left to my own devices, I would stumble down any path. So, I happily trust that God is guiding my every step, and I hope that today's contentment will carry over to tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, until all of my days are done.

Beautiful (vanity)?

beau·ti·ful

adjective

1. having beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about,etc.; delighting the senses or mind: a beautiful dress; a beautiful speech.

2. excellent of its kind: a beautiful putt on the seventh hole; The chef served us a beautiful roast of beef.

3. wonderful; very pleasing or satisfying.

noun

4. the concept of beauty (usually preceded by the  ).

5.( used with a plural verb ) beautiful things or people collectively (usually preceded by the  ): the good andthe beautiful.

6. the ideal of beauty (usually preceded by the  ): to strive to attain the beautiful.

van·i·ty

 

noun

1. excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit: Failure to be elected was a great blow to his vanity.

2. an instance or display of this quality or feeling.

3. something about which one is vain.

4. lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness: the vanity of a selfish life.

5. something worthless, trivial, or pointless.

(dictionary.com)

I recall the first time I ever saw a very strategically angled photo of someone on their Myspace page, and I didn't realize at the time that I was looking at one of earlier forms of a selfie. You know what I'm talking about. Stand in front of the bathroom mirror, turn flash on, place camera as high in the air as you can, point down in the most flattering angle, be stoic or pouty, or somehow make eyes look 10x larger than they ever are in real life, snap photo. Bam! New Myspace profile picture created. Girls were proudly making duck lips with their mouths and pointing the camera down their shirts. (Still do, actually.)

Now I've started noticing that girls are all smiling in this one particular way where every girls' smile looks like the next. Has anyone else noticed this?? There is a certain way they curve their lips and use their chin, and then they incorporate their eyebrows and nose in making this face, and it kind of resembles a smile but a very universal one that other people are capable of doing as well. Or, maybe I'm the only person to notice it. I don't know because I've never talked to anyone about this. Maybe this is some kind of thing that the mind does after you've viewed a few too many consecutive pictures of smiles. Anyway, once, for fun, I tried to even make that face in the mirror and I couldn't do it. Then it dawned on me, these girls are PRACTICING this fake smile! If I'm being honest, for a second I was disappointed that I couldn't do it. Not that I needed to take a picture of myself doing it and make an Insta out of it, but I guess I wanted to see if I would look like all of the rest of them when I made the face. For a second.

Then I realized that I would prefer it if I never did. I don't want to blend in, I don't want to look everyone else…at least not right now. I have before though. Psh. I'm not here attempting to take some high road and claim to never have participated in taking a selfie or trying to find a flattering angle for a picture of myself, or even making duck lips. (Less complicated than this practiced smile trend going on, so I can.) I have done so, and will continue for as long as I'm human, to attempt to present the best version of myself most of the time, or at least wanting to. I'm not exempt from wanting to do that.

With all of our various social media outlets for revealing our vanity, it does happen frequently. And most of the time our vanity is disguised as something else, and widely accepted. (Hint: #ss, #tbt, #wcw, #mcm, #wbw -- which, translated mean: selfie Sunday, throwback Thursday, woman crush Wednesday, man crush Monday, and way back Wednesday. These are a few examples of hashtags I'm familiar with, which ultimately help promote our vanity in various forms, even sometimes being used by one individual to promote the vanity of another. i.e., #wcw/#mcm.) I know that it's not always the intent, and I'm not accusing anyone specifically of this. I'm just saying these are just a few of the ways that vanity is being concealed and snuck into our lives. Again, I'm not exempt of being a part of this.

…But something happened this past week that changed my perspective on flattering angles and special faces.

About a week ago, a new Facebook trend was brought to my attention. Usually when that happens I roll my eyes and ignore it, but this time I was intrigued. I wondered who started it, how long it had been "trending," and what the purpose for it was. The trend was a challenge by friends/to friends, to find and post five photos on their own Facebook timeline in which they feel beautiful.

If you haven't seen it, most of them read something like, "I was challenged by ______ to post 5 pictures I feel beautiful in, and I challenge ________ ." (With photos posted directly underneath.)

What caught my attention was that there was no apparent vanity going on in the photos I was seeing being posted by others. The difference with this new Facebook trend was that women all over the place were being challenged to choose just five photos to present themselves to the [Facebook] world, and they weren't choosing the expected, typical types of photos. It wasn't women only finding the pictures with the best angles, or the most edits and filters used--it was women choosing events/experiences/people/moments/memories, and then sharing photos that represent and encompass something they experienced that made them feel beautiful.

A couple examples of some of my friends' responses to this challenge:

 "Funny how when looking over the pictures I feel like the beauty came from the moment in and of itself and the people that it is shared with."  -Jenny Blake

"Mostly I just love the people I'm with."   -Amanda McCambridge

I was truly fascinated about this aspect of it. I felt it too when I was picking my own photos. (Yes, I accepted and shared the challenge.) It wasn't about what I looked like in the photos as much as the memories, and how I felt when the pictures were taken. And in the past several days I have been enjoying seeing the chosen pictures on my newsfeed. But not just pictures; they are snapshots of what reminds us that we are beautiful. And for a week, the women on Facebook, in some small way, have been ignoring the part of posting photos that allows vanity to sneak up on them. We are appreciating life by appreciating those moments with the people we love. 

Or, maybe this is just my perspective.

But if so, I'll just keep it that way.

Here's a new challenge: Go back and re-read the definitions I shared above, choose for yourself what you want to present, on Facebook and in life, and then work at doing that.

Faithfully Risky

I may periodically day dream or try to imagine where I will be in 5, 10, or 20 years, but I wouldn't call myself ambitious. I tend to avoid anything resembling long-term commitment. I like to think of myself as someone who lives in the moment, but really it's usually just because planning too far in advance terrifies me.

To be clear though, this doesn't mean that I've been drifting through life up to this point. I've made lots of commitments, I've met deadlines, and I've dedicated myself to some pretty huge tasks. Yes, I'm afraid of every single one of those things, but I have learned to cope and deal with my fears, and I feel pretty sure that life will always be thus for me; I will be perpetually coping with the mountains and valleys of commitments.

That said, I have certain comfort zones that come into my life at times which are extremely difficult to break away from, and I am not someone who typically steps out of my comfort zones. There are certain places in life where I momentarily catch my footing and feel safe and then I don't want to leave that feeling. People can make me feel this way, but it is usually tough to get to "that place" with people, for me. Situations that I find myself experiencing can make me feel this way, and then I tend to favor those situations. Even in the little things, like a favorite place to go to with my friends, or a favorite type of food, or a favorite type of shampoo; I will often be the girl to apply my shampoo bottle's instructions to life: "Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat…" I'm a creature of habit, for sure.

That's why this summer has been monumental. This summer, I didn't just step out of one of my comfort zones, I jumped from the plane that flew me out of my comfort zone.

I have been a fairly directionless person for the majority of my life, including the moment that my last job landed in my lap. I had no idea what a life-altering job it would be for me. When I started there, it was not my intention to stay for long. (Little did I know, I would be there for 7 years.) You can imagine my appall (and incredible amount of all kinds of fear) when I began to sense that it was time to start looking for a new opportunity. That job was a safe zone in my life, and some deep part of me was stirring up trouble by making me think it was finally time to move on to something new.

But I did it. Not only did I leave that job, I did it before I found a replacement job. When I explained this to people, they would say things like, "But …that's crazy." Or, "You are so brave, I could never do that!" Or, "You know, you're supposed to have a new job lined up before you quit the old one." (And then raise an eyebrow at me with that look on their face, as if to ask, "Are you okay?") But I was the first person to admit that it was more than a little risky. I understood that I was facing a new type of mountain in my 25 year old life, the difference was that I was suddenly willing to gear up and start trekking.

*This blog could be about how taking that leap of faith taught me that comfort zones are stupid, and I could tell you something like, "Being ambitious is my new ambition."But I regret to say that I have not altered my entire psyche in one summer. I'm still pretty anxious most (all) of the time. I still cherish my other comfort zones. I still fear commitments.*

So why did I tell this story about my issues with commitment and my eccentric approach to making life-and bank account balance-altering decisions?

Because I want to talk about how that approach is affecting my relationship with God.

This journey has not just been about finding a new direction for my "professional" life to go in, this journey has been about choosing not to categorize my life into labels like, "professional" or "personal," and then try to keep God out of certain categories. He belongs everywhere in my world.

While I have been specifically focused on finding a new job this summer, I have realized more than ever before just how little control I actually have over the direction of any area of my life. I get to choose whether or not to keep a job, but I have no control over the way that God shapes my heart in order to lead me to that decision. I get to choose where to apply for new job opportunities, but I have no control over whether or not I will be offered a job, or how long it will take to be offered a job.

God's timing and provision in my life this summer has been absolute and undeniable.

I took the leap and then I waited…and waited…and waited. I faced a lot of challenges this summer, but I never felt fearful that it wasn't going to work out. I felt the weight of a budget more than ever before in my life. I felt some self-doubt when I was turned down a couple of times. I felt some exhaustion when I painted in someone's house for 12 hours straight in order to earn a little extra moolah.* But God gave me a peace of mind about my decision that carried me through all of it.

*I also felt some sun rays and relaxation on days when I spent hours by the pool without a care in the world…you know, because I wasn't worried about things working out. ;)


Some have called this being optimistic, but I like to think of it as being faithfully risky.

Faithful, because I placed everything in His hands. Risky, only in the eyes of those who don't understand the wonderful feeling of placing everything in His hands.






And in case you are wondering…

In the last week I accepted two part-time jobs, and today I interviewed for another, full-time job. And I intend to do whatever I am doing for the glory of my God.