It is a sure mark of grace to desire more. ~Robert Murray M’Cheyne

Humans are creatures of comfort. What's more, we have even been given the potential to gain as much earthly comfort as we will ever want to seek on our own. It's a phenomenon in my mind that with all of our intelligence, technology, relational ability, our media, education and so on, that we should ever feel and suffer from mental and emotional handicaps such as depression and vanity. If your species is truly the greatest in all of those things, how is it possible that you should stop and expect anything greater? But still, greed sinks its teeth into our minds, and we begin to consider ourselves as entitled to more, rather than grateful for all that we are and all that we have. I am completely baffled that we should ever find it within ourselves to actually expect something better than what we have. Our species is the species of entitlement over appreciation, hate over protection, and excess over survival. It is in our greatest, and God-given, abilities of reason and emotion that we reach our greatest, man-accomplished, failures. It's astonishing that we could have taken something so perfect and then so easily and carelessly morphed it into a literally wicked existence, by choice.

I take it that the highest proof of Christ’s power is not that He offers salvation, not that He bids you take it if you will, but that when you reject it, when you hate it, when you despise it, He has a power whereby he can change your mind, make you think differently from your former thoughts, and turn you from the error of your ways.

C.H. Spurgeon

I'm wrapping my head around some recent thoughts on changing to become a better person.
I've come across some differing ideas on whether certain things about ourselves can even be changed, or if we are just permanently stuck with certain seemingly negative traits.
First we have to ask, "What are my negative traits? What makes them so?"
Then comes the question, "What would I need to do to change these things?"
And finally, "Can I do what is necessary?"

If a choice is what made my existence worse, than the opposite choice should be what can make it better, right?



I'm realizing through various discussions and hours of pondering on my own that the only possible way I can conclude that it's impossible to change ANYTHING about myself is through a filter in my mind which seeks comfort of self over truth. It's far easier to decide upon an answer which provides me with an eternal excuse of not attempting change--i.e., there are certain things unchangable--rather than conclude that the only thing between my current state and the possible change is that very excuse of an answer. It's my human nature to desire the "easy out" in this conclusion, but there is something within me that won't accept it.

I can't help but wonder what it is inside of me that provides me with the bravado to even hope that it's possible for me to change, and in doing so, curse myself with an eternal journey of always seeking the better choice in every situation, just to prove this conclusion of possibility as true. But does it take perfection to prove that change is possible? I don't believe so. I believe the place of proof is in each individual choice, rather than a whole perfection. It's not instant, it's not permanent. Our ability fades in and out just as our attention fades, and it's in our humility that we find it easiest to give attention to the things that really matter. The real proof exists in even finding this answer to start with, the hope of change that exists in one's heart is the very essence of the change; the betterment of oneself lies in feeling the hope for it. So where does my arrogance of hope come from? And is it really enough to cause me to seek out the change I find myself in need of?
In my personal prayer and research, I've come to the conclusion that the thing inside of me which is causing me to find myself worth the possibility of becoming something better, is Grace.

Grace is but glory begun, and glory is but grace perfected.

 Jonathan Edwards

In the English New Testament the word "grace" is always a translation of χαρις (charis), a word that occurs in the Greek text something over 170 times (the reading is uncertain in places). In secular Greek of all periods it is also a very common word, and in both Biblical and secular Greek it is used with far more meanings than can be represented by any one term in English.*

Here are some definitions I found in a few different dictionaries (While there are many worldly definitions of the word grace from the following sources, for the sake of time, I am only referencing the definitions which are based on a Christian viewpoint):

Webster's New World Dictionary defines grace as "the love and favor of God toward human beings."
Merriam-Webster:1: Unmerited help given to people by God (as in overcoming temptation),
2: Freedom from sin through divine grace
3:A virtue coming from God

American Heritage Dictionary:7a: Divine love and perfection bestowed on people,
b: The state of being protected by God

Oxford American Dictionary describes grace as "The free and unearned favor of God."

If you'll notice above, the underlined words point out something about to whom grace is offered. It isn't every creature in creation which God has chosen to be a vessel of his grace; it's human beings. I don't feel arrogance because I'm in the only species God has blessed with the miracle of grace, I feel gratitude and awe that He would have considered this sort of salvation for us from our otherwise fleeting and disgusting lives here on earth, and even more so, from an eternity of punishment in hell.

Grace is God’s free and unmerited favor shown to guilty sinners who deserve only judgment.  It is the love of God shown to the unlovely.  It is God reaching downward to people who are in rebellion against Him.

 Jerry Bridges

I feel undeserving, as I should, that the Father would even blink once more in my direction after all that I've done against his name. Yet here I am with hope in my heart and unlimited power against the rulers of this world, including my own sin, simply because God loved me enough to pardon it all without any chance of repayment. He knows me better than I know myself, he knows all of my future mistakes that haven't even crossed my mind yet, and still he pardons me and blesses me with grace as if I am worth so much more.

[Grace is] the free and benevolent influence of a Holy God operating sovereignly in the lives of undeserved sinners.

 Phil Johnson

As I think on the reality of all of this, I am completely astonished about the presence of God, through grace in the form of his Spirit, in my life. But also, while not scared or nervous, I am more aware than ever of how much work needs to be done in my life, and because of this new realization, I have absolutely no excuse of why I cannot do any of it.

Grace is not simply leniency when we have sinned. Grace is the enabling gift of God not to sin. Grace is power, not just pardon.

 John Piper

One great paradox of the Christian life is that we are fully responsible for our Christian growth and at the same time fully dependent upon the Holy Spirit to give us both the desire to grow and the ability to do it.  God’s grace does not negate the need for responsible action on our part, but rather makes it possible.

Jerry Bridges

I believe, that the work of regeneration, conversion, sanctification and faith, is not an act of man’s free will and power, but of the mighty, efficacious ad irresistible grace of God.

C.H. Spurgeon

Taking it for what it is, I know that [grace] is not present in my life because of something I've done in order to gain it. So, I go into the next part of what it means to receive grace in my life (using it to change my life) knowing that it's not about what I can do. It's about what God the Father will do with me, because of His Grace, through the work of the Holy Spirit. And I'm so thankful it's not up to me, otherwise I would be literally, hopelessly, stuck in a very wicked existence.

Grace is the good pleasure of God that inclines Him to bestow benefits upon the undeserving. It is a self-existent principle inherent in the divine nature and appears to us as a self-caused propensity to pity the wretched, spare the guilty, welcome the outcast, and bring into favor those who were before under just disapprobation. Its use to us sinful men is to save us and make us sit together in heavenly places to demonstrate to the ages the exceeding riches of God’s kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

A.W. Tozer

This is the glory and miracle of grace, that God, through the Holy Spirit, is able to transform a stubborn, rebellious, and unbelieving will into a passionate, obedient, believing will without violating the integrity of the individual or diminishing the voluntary nature of one’s decision to trust Christ for salvation.

Sam Storms

It's because of God's love, and despite my undeserving of any chance of change, that I have been given a chance at complete transformation.
And it's because of this chance that I must not ignore the things that need change in my life, regardless of how difficult a task it may be.
It's not an excuse to remain in my previously desperate state of wickedness.

Grace does not grant permission to live in the flesh; it supplies power to live in the Spirit.

John MacArthur


But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Next book up on Julie's reading list is going to be:
Transforming Grace, NavPress, 1991
Jerry Bridges

*The Meaning of Grace in the Bible.

You believe in God, but do you believe in Satan?

As Halloween approaches, costumes in mind, I can't help but think about how our culture has commercialized wickedness into packaged treats and signature colors to commemorate the holiday which once held a much different meaning. (I won't get into the origins of the holiday because, frankly, I just don't care enough about it to even bother.) But all of this thinking on Halloween being sized down to nothing more than a night to dress up and eat sweets led me into my thoughts that ended up being the beginning stages of this blog.

If I say the name Satan to anyone, they know who I'm talking about ...sort of. They know the cheapened, watered-down version of who he is. They know the commercialized little red character with two stubby horns and a pitchfork. I find it quite remarkable that, while possibly at one point the name Satan made grown men tremble in fear, today, that image of him does little to strike even a sniffle from even the smallest of children. And I can't help but wonder, who do people really think Satan is? Do they even believe in him?
I don't know how theologians would feel about my next statement, or even how sure I am about its accuracy with biblical truth, but I think that belief in Satan may be just as important as belief in God. To know that God is real is one thing, to know that Satan is real is another. Knowing God can and should bring about all sorts of emotions; we should feel awe and reverence towards him, as well as love and peace in Him. But the knowledge and understanding that Satan exists and is very present in the world, should bring about much more than a sniffle or a tremble from us. Not only should we being alert to what he is doing or care to avoid him, but we should also be so utterly transformed by our knowledge that we can no longer take his name lightly. If you are a Christian, like me, you have no reason to fear him, but we should also not look upon the little red face we see in media and such without being jolted into our seat with the reality of what Satan's existence really means...


Then there was war in heaven, Michael and his angels fought against the dragon and his angels. And the dragon lost the battle, and he and his angels were forced out of heaven. This great dragon--the ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, the one deceiving the whole world--was thrown down to the earth with all his angels.
Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens,
"It has come at last--
salvation and power
and the Kingdom of our God,
and the authority of his Christ. 
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth--
the one who accuses them before our God day and night.
And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb
and by their testimony.
And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.
Therefore, rejoice, O heavens!
And you who live in the heavens, rejoice!
B u t    t e r r o r    w i l l   c o m e   o n    e a r t h   a n d   t h e    s e a,   for the devil has come down to you in great anger, knowing that he has little time."  Revelation 12:9-12

"You were blameless in all you did from the day were created until the day evil was found in you."
Ezekiel 28:15

"A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. Lies make us evil."  Chuck Palahniuk
    

Satan.

He lied. He lied to himself. He called himself a god, he fooled himself into thinking that he was as powerful as the One who created him. In the first moment when his heart turned over from the angelic high priest that he was, into the dark fortress of deceit and everything evil, a war broke out. A war between God and devil. A spiritual war. And Satan with his followers, and God with his, go against each other without ceasing, even now. Although we followers of God are warned to be prepared and wear the armor of God [Ephesians 6:11-17], it's not a literal, physical battle line sort of war. In the sense of the battle itself, it does not take place with weapons like we generally think of in times of war; Satan is not on the line waiting to destroy or be destroyed. Instead, it would be more like him sneaking into our tents, charming his way into the thoughts of our soldiers. He knows that he will be able to bring down all of our forces, break down every tactic, weaken our defenses, with simple lies and stories. Satan is a schemer; a persistent, patient, plotter of evil. He is in our minds, in our hearts, in the doubts and fears we have; he lives in the cracks of our lives where we have not put God first.

"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it,
and eventually they will believe it."
--Adolf Hitler

I recently read a chapter in the book The Fight, by John White called "His Infernal Majesty", it talks about the devil's role in our lives prior to and after salvation. I want to quote some intense points White makes about our "relationship" with Satan.
Regarding us with the devil before salvation:
"...you may not have realized you had a relationship with him at all. Yet aware of it or not, his spirit was at work in your body (Eph. 2:2). Unknown to you, his deceptions obscured your thinking while his music inflamed your senses and influenced your will. ...his greatest skill lay in giving you the feeling that you were your own master."
(I love this next part, because a new favorite author [White] references an all-time fav. [Lewis]!)
"C.S. Lewis's remark that humanity falls into two equal and opposite errors concerning the devil is now more famous than the book (The Screwtape Letters) in which it is found. The errors, according to Lewis, consist either in taking the devil altogether too seriously or in not taking him seriously enough. ...He is equally delighted by an atheist, a liberal theologian or a witch. And he feels as happy with a Christian whose mind is preoccupied with demons all day long as he is with one who never gives them a thought.
But he is living and virulent. His supreme object is to hurt Christ and Christ's cause. You personally are of no interest to him. It is only as you relate to Christ that you assume significance in his eyes. Before you became a Christian he was mainly interested in blinding you to the truth of Christ or perhaps in seducing you further into his terrain. But this was not because of your personal importance. He only used you to get back at God. Similarly, now that you are a Christian his interest in you has nothing to do with you as an individual so much as with your potential for Christ's cause. To God you are very important. But to Satan you are nothing more than a potentially useful microbe. He and his hellions will damage you along one or more of four lines: They will tempt, accuse, deceive and devour."

If our war is on going, and it is, we should be constantly filling every part of our lives with our loyalty to the One, or the other. Now, I don't think that anyone who isn't incessantly seeking God is a follower of Satan, otherwise I myself would be considered a follower of Satan. I seek God daily, moment to moment some days. My thoughts flow towards God and his word frequently. I have memorized His word, I pray to my Savior daily, I desire and seek Him. I love God. But I still would be considered a Satan follower if the rule was that anyone who didn't perfectly obey God was to be regarded as "one of them" rather than "one of us." I haven't yet conquered myself so wholly, and let go of myself so completely to not feel the flesh part of me being tugged in all directions so as to distract me from my God. I am aware of this, and still I cannot, or have not yet, beat that part of myself. It's different as a Christian, because ultimately I am taken care of, yes. But Satan knows that even if our heart is in love with God one day, we can just as easily fall in love with all of the distractions around us the next day.

"Believing in God is as much like falling in love as it is making a decision. Love is both something that happens to you and something you decide upon."

"I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time…If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his from engaging God."  --Donald Miller

Miller mentions "habit" fairly generically, not specifying what the habit is, which I think points out an important message to the reader: It doesn't matter what is distracting us, it only matters that we allowed ourselves--by choice, not accident--to be distracted.

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8



In my last blog I mentioned how incapable I was/am on my own, and how God instills within me the empowerment required to not only make it through the day, or this life; but how it altered my eternity. I also mentioned how some people believe Christians to be weaker rather than stronger because of their faith in God.

But going into a little more depth with the details of our existence on earth gives us an entirely different outlook, I think. God is not just around for the benefits we get from it, he is the Almighty, here with a purpose in which our well being is his utmost. Because when we are fully well in Him, more glory is found under his name. The fight we have to fight is not easy, it is not for the weak. God does not take risks, we are not just merely pawns in his game. We are His beloved children, his lost sheep, his followers, his servants. Because of our willingness to take our weaknesses into consideration and admit our need for Him, he forgets our sin and every reason he could have for just wiping us off the face of the earth, and instead, he loves and protects us from our greatest enemy. What's more, He uses us as vessels of HIS OWN POWER in the midst of spiritual warfare. He is not just protecting us as helpless victims, but he enables us through his Spirit to fight along side. He gives us supernatural ability in a supernatural war.

He knew before anything else existed, what kind of battle would need to be fought, because of us, and for our sake. He knew that some of us would reject Him wholeheartedly, which breaks his heart. But still He prepared a plan to save us, a place for us to spend eternity with him, worshiping him. God knew that He would be victorious in defeating Satan and his army. He defeated Satan on the day that he cast Satan out of his sight in heaven before we even existed. (As mentioned at the beginning of this blog.) He defeated Satan on the day that Jesus' own life was sacrificed for our sake. And He continues to defeat Satan every time someone chooses to believe in God and not allow themselves to be distracted by other things.

I think one of the biggest reasons we as Christians can have hope on a day to day basis is not because everything is easy going and trial free, but because we can know that the suffering is not without good purpose, and not permanent. An eternal promise has been made by the One who has kept every other promise to date, and we need to be ready for the day when He completes the story. Because on the day when Satan is completely bound in eternal death, so will everyone else who never believed. While as Christians we don't have to worry about our own fate, we need to be desperately concerned about the fate of those who haven't yet confessed belief. We should be moved by what we know. The power our witness may have in the life of a non-believer could be what "makes it or breaks it" for them eternally, and we should be riveted by our part in their fate, to the point of being on our knees in prayer daily for their sake, doing all that we can to bring them to complete understanding of the chance they have at eternal life, or eternal death.

Satan.

He is real. He lies incessantly.
And if you don't believe in him, it's because he's already got you fooled. (1 Corinthians 4:4)

But he will be destroyed.
[You have come to a terrible end, and you will exist no more. Ezekiel 28:19b]

In his deceit lies the reason our Truth is so important, and so phenomenal.


Oh yeah, in case you were wondering,
Here is the warning and the promise we have been given:

The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. But the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as a thief. Then the heavens will pass away with a terrible noise, and the very elements themselves will disappear in fire, and the earth and everything on it will be found to deserve judgment. 2 Peter 3:9-10

Then the devil who had deceived them, was thrown into the fiery lake of burning sulfur, joining the beast and the false prophet. There they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.
And I saw a great white throne and the one sitting on it. The earth and sky fled from his presence, but they found no place to hide. I saw the dead, both great and small, standing before God's throne. And the books were opened, including the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to what they had done, as recorded in the books. The sea gave up it's dead, and death and the grave gave up their dead. And all were judged according to their deeds. Then death and the grave were thrown into the lake of fire. This lake of fire is the second death. And anyone whose name was not found in the Book of Life was thrown into the lake of fire. Revelation 20:10-15


But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly awaiting for him to return as our Savior. He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies and using the same power with which we will bring everything under his control.

The Final Mystery...

 There are many things in life to figure out,
but as Oscar Wilde once said,

"The final mystery is oneself."

Have you ever asked yourself... "Who am I?"

Eh...Then again, maybe others don't feel the need to ask themselves this question like I do.

If you go to kisa.ca/personality you can take a test that will tell you what kind of personality you have. I took the test tonight, sort of as an experiment, and here are the results:

Introverted (I) 93%	Extroverted (E) 7%
Sensing (S) 50%	Intuitive (N) 50%
Feeling (F) 60%	Thinking (T) 40%
Perceiving (P) 59%	Judging (J) 41%

But what does that mean to me? According to this test I lean more on the sensing/feeling side of things--Which I think is true--So what good does an analytical test do for someone like me? The above percentages really don't mean a lot to me. In fact--I think partly because of my own natural tendency to be introverted, and ability to perceive things--this somewhat official psychological typology assessment didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know about myself.
On a fun side note, according to Wikipedia...Michael Jackson MAY HAVE had an ISFP personality type. AND, also according Wikipedia, ISFP's account for about 5–10% of the population. I feel like a minority with that sort of statistic. Haha.

The test was fun I suppose, but it can't answer the question of who I am.

Jon Foreman's popular lyric, "This is your life, are you who you want to be? " appropriately comes to mind, and I finally consider that question rather than just sing along; Am I who I want to be?

To answer this question, you kind of have to already know who you are, and then be able to answer if you, essentially, /like/ who you are.

My answer /right now/ is honestly "Yes", but it hasn't always been.

I have been restless, discontented, and depressed even. I have been insecure with myself in just about every way. I've been to MY rock bottom, and then some. The only chance I ever had at escaping any of it was to recognize that I couldn't do it on my own.

And this is the part of my blog that moves into my new outlook on life, this is the turning point in my entire world view. Desperation led to utter triumph, of which I had nothing to do. I can never claim anything more than that.

Some people easily accuse Christians of being weak because they are "letting God do all the work." My response is that God doesn't do all of the work, He just instills capability and empowerment within us through His love for us. By His mercy, we are rescued, By His grace, we are made new; But it's when we have been sanctified, redeemed, and justified that the toughest battle of our lives begins, We are not in the clear from all things difficult and evil. But at this point, with God on our side, nothing can touch us. Our future has been re-written by the Almighty.
                                         John White writes in his book The Fight,

"What makes Christian conversion different is that supernatural events also occur. The feeling states in non-Christian conversion are temporary. That are equally temporary in Christian conversion. But the supernatural, and often unfelt, events are permanent.
They mark you in the sight of demons and angels as a human who is different. They bring your body into touch with eternity and with the eternal God."
"Your justification is both a heavenly event and a time-space event. It is a heavenly event insofar as Jesus is at this moment on the right hand of God's throne acting as your personal representative. It is a heavenly event too in that your name is now recorded in the 'not guilty' annals of heaven. It is an earthly event since you, a creature of time and space, may boldly step into the presence of the God of eternity and hold a conversation with him. Not to crawl towards him, but to approach with your head held high."
"Eternity invaded space and reestablished permanent links between your personality and the Eternal."

In Philippians 4, verses 6-7, what Paul says to the Christ followers in Philippi at the time is still such a great description of what takes place when you let go of self in order to let God take over; "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

This is what validates and defines me. This is who I am now. Everything I have or am going to be resides only in the hope and life I have in Christ. A new awareness of God's grace and compassion is affecting me; Peace like I've never known, and still can't quite understand, is wrapping around my mind and heart. I am guarded, therefore I am ready for anything. After all, at 22 years, 2 days, 1 hour, and 15 minutes old, I have already answered "the final mystery." This is the oldest I've ever been, and I feel more alive than ever.
How's that for a paradox?